Hello, Dr Freud
posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 @ 12:33 am
This would have been the porn entry I mentioned 3 entries, 22 days ago, except lately, something has been troubling me.
Friend #1 sends pictures of Muscovy Ducks to Vickie.
Vickie: How do you tell the ducks apart?
Friend #1: Male ducks have a redder face.
Vickie: Female ducks are cuter than the male dicks.
Vickie: DUCKS
Friend #2 goes online.
Vickie: I’m bored.
Friend #2: Oh.
Vickie: I’m going to sperm your Facebook profile.
Vickie: SPAM
Man, what’s going on with my brain? Erm… Boy, what’s wrong with me? Dude!
ENGLISH, WHY MUST YOU WORK AGAINST ME?!
Version 10: Upside Down
posted on Saturday, August 2, 2008 @ 12:47 am
Well, ladies and gentlemen, it hasn’t even been a year yet and Vickiepedia already has a new layout. GASP! I know. Like all past layouts, this version can be viewed with background images disabled, all images disabled, CSS disabled, most modern browsers and any screen resolution from 1024×768 up. Remember, 90s is the new 80s, 800×600 is the new 640×480.
Food stain on the keyboard has been photoshopped out. But that fluffiness on the side of the I and 9 keys? I don’t know what they are. I didn’t dare to zoom in.
穎琪 would be my Chinese given name. I’m just that cool.
But I forgot to eat dinner.
Alternative version names: Bad Hair Day; Shiny Forehead; I’m Holding a Blue Cup?; There’s a Male Bum Behind Me; See, Even My Keyboard is Cooler than Yours.
Google Schmoogle
posted on Monday, July 28, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
Related:http://vickiepedia.org/ = Japanese, Japanese, Japanese. How, Google, are our sites related? Do we Asians all look the same to you? Is that so? Huh? Huh?
Google, you have a lot of explaining to do! 
Up next some day: the entry on porn that I downloaded a virus for. (Wow, déjà vu.)
Run-Ons, Running Out of What I Run On
posted on Saturday, July 26, 2008 @ 9:57 pm
Stuck with Australia’s wonderful metred bandwidth, about to bust this month’s cap, forced self to surf during offpeak i.e. midnight, brain too tired to function, doing research on porn for upcoming blog entry, downloaded porn from non-usual sources, saw a .exe, heard Brain say, “You no give me rest, I no make you judgement.” Whatever that meant. Ran .exe, watched anti-virus try to block and remove virus in vain, adrenaline rush, jaw dropped to floor.
Vickie: What the fuck, Brain?
Brain: What the fuck, Vickie?
Regained composure, googled for fix, downloaded fix, rebooted computer in safe mode, blurry, blurry, blurry, blurry, fell asleep on chair, drooled.
Woke up to a computer free of virus, unused drivers removed, registry cleaned up, beautifully defragged. Blinked.
Vickie: … What the fuck, Brain?!
Brain: What the fuck, Vickie.
Up next some day: the entry on porn that I downloaded a virus for.
Apparently, My Evil Twin is a Star
posted on Thursday, July 17, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
On one very rare day when Vickie was, like, not at her computer…
Guy #1: Hello.
Vickie: ?
Guy #1: Do I know you? You look really familiar.
Vickie: …
Later, on a train.
Person taps Vickie on the shoulder.
Guy #2: Excuse me.
Vickie: ?
Guy #2: Are you a star?
Vickie: …
On the other hand, if this is what I’ve been doing wrong — as in, why I’m not getting the ladies other than the fact that most ladies just aren’t into ladies, then I really need to grow some balls.
On the other other hand, I may also be the evil one?!
